You can ask my husband, as a newly wed, I vacuumed at least twice a day. We had no children to make messes yet, but I needed everything perfect. 11 years later some of my need for perfection has diminished, but not as much as I would like.
We are in a messy phase of life. After eight years back in my hometown we are moving back to Richmond, VA. We love Richmond. Deep in my heart it has always felt like home, it is where we lived when we were married, where we became parents, and where we felt like our life fell apart eight years ago. Through some tough years, the birth of two more little boys, and me finally finishing my masters degree we created a life together in my hometown. My husband has worked at the same company here for eight years, I have worked in the same church for seven years, and as of last year began teaching at the preschool where our oldest began attending seven years ago (only to be followed by his younger brothers). This small town is so much a part of who we are; the friends that we have here have became family.
Now I sit in the midst of a mess. The dining room table has moved to the living room while I stack boxes and extra chairs in the dining room, the play room has been cleaned out so that I have more room to stack boxes, and we are trying to tie up loose ends at our jobs. It is chaos!!! Add all of our baggage to the fact that we have three elementary aged children that will be leaving the only town they remember (or have ever known).... well I am sure you get the picture.
First off, I am amazed at all of those who up and move every two or three years for transfers. You are impressive and I could use some lessons on how to do it gracefully. We plan on moving to Richmond and staying for a very long time (at the very least until the kids are grown). I don't know how you stay sane and move a family. I have been doing much better than in the previous couple of weeks, or so I thought until this afternoon when my nine year old became the recipient of my own quest for perfection in the midst of chaos.
Sparing the details, I completely crushed his spirit. This same sweet boy who I was bragging about on Facebook hours earlier, had tried his best to work on his social studies fair project that he is doing with one of his best friends and it did not look like I expected. In a world where parents sometimes do more on the social studies fair project than the children, I immediately felt that this project that was clearly done by fourth graders would not get the same recognition as those immaculately done by parents. I should of applauded the effort, and the fact that they wanted to do it themselves but I did not. I typically wear a bracelet that says "Only Love Today", but today I did not and clearly needed the reminder. Let this be a turning point.... this afternoon I slowed down. My sweet boy and I sat down on the couch, we read together, we did his homework, and he asked if we could sit down together like this everyday. Change and chaos go hand in hand, we decide to find the positive in change. I hope that one of my positives in the midst of all of this includes a constant reminder to act intentionally and with only love. That would be perfection.
